For the past two months I'd been receiving Whattsapp posts from Imran Khan's followers that he had already been elected Chancellor of Oxford University. I pointed out to them that elections had not yet taken place, that the list of qualified candidates had not yet been finalized, so how could he already be the Chancellor? But such is the power of Imran Khan's social media activists that they would be able to persuade his followers to believe anything, even if he claims that he is the founder of Pakistan.

Yesterday the list came out, and Imran's lovers were horrified that despite spending so much money and energy, he has been disqualified to contest the election, despite many UK parliament members pleading that he be allowed. 

I can guess what happened. Those who finalized the list must have studied Imran Khan's activities in detail, concluding that he has been tried fairly and convicted lawfully. But knowing the mindset of Imran Khan's followers, I doubt if they would agree. I wish they'd stage demonstrations against Oxford University so that overseas Pakistanis get to know how repulsive they are. 

It's good to know that Imran Khan has not been able to fool people in the UK, like he has fooled some Pakistanis.

 

1. Tell a maulvi that he'd look better without a beard.
2. Invite him to watch MTV at your house
3. Ask Bal Thackeray if he intends to force all indians to drink what Moraji Desai used to drink
4. Tell your wife that the ideal family is one with nine children.
5. Tell your wife to find another wife for you so you can have nine children.
6. Tell your wife that she shouldn't mind you looking around all over the place, you're only trying to find a suitable mother-in-law for your son.
7. Explain the Theory of Relativity to a Pakistani MNA
8. Try to explain CTBT to Reema.
9. Tell PTV's M.D. to watch Khabarnama
10. Ask a government officer how many honest people he has in his department
11. Ask another government officer whether he can survive on the salary he pays to his peon.
12. Ask a ganja if he knows of a cure for baldness
13. Protest to the KESC about there being no power breakdown in your area for the past week.

The human mind is perhaps the most unique thing in the world. It can imagine how the world will look like a hundred years from now. It can work out how to travel to Mars. Unfortunately the same human mind can be terribly stupid when it belongs to some people in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

When it was in a coalition government in Pakistan's KP (2013-2018), the Jamat-e-Islami party got pictures of women and animals removed from school text books. This is one party that has many highly educated individuals who donate a lot in charity. Yet it too has people whose minds are like those who lived in the Stone Age.

Afghanistan's Taliban have gone much further. Their morality police have banned pictures and videos of all living things which have souls (meaning humans and animals) in the electronic and print media. I looked at Pakistani newspapers today and found pictures of humans on almost all pages. As for TV, I wonder what Afghan electronic media will show when the ban takes effect. 

These guys are so stupid that they don't realize they are doing their best to make themselves the laughing stock of the whole world. It also makes others wonder if Muslims don't need psychiatric treatment.

The one thing that differentiates Pakistani Muslims from other Muslims is that they think they're the only ones who know anything about Islam. After 9/11, it's gotten worse. Almost every Pakistani you meet thinks that he's an expert on the subject. In fact, I've met some who talk of nothing else.

In such a toxic environment where people like "Maulana" Tariq Jamil exist, there was no need for the government to invite "Dr". Zakir Naik to the country. Like Tariq Jamil (who said in the presence of Imran Khan that Covid is caused by women not veiling themselves), Zakir Naik is actually doing his best to prevent non-Muslims from converting to Islam. In fact, he may even be turning young, educated Muslims in the US and Europe away from the religion.

Among his sayings is the one about women not allowed by Islam to be prime ministers or chief ministers. Pakistan and Turkey both have had female prime ministers, while there is a woman chief minister in Pakistan. Then he said that if a man is alone with a woman and doesn't get sexually aroused, he should seek treatment (obviously for impotence). Women should also not be allowed to fly aircraft, he says. Apparently he doesn't know that our air force has many female pilots. He is absolutely ignorant when it comes to science. He quotes from the holy texts fluently, but later it's found that he misquotes frequently. 

No wonder this man has been banned in India, the UK and other countries.

 

 

Intellectual generation

WHEN we were in our teens, 60 years ago, aged people were quite popular in families and social settings. Young people would gather around them and ask them what the world had been like when they were young.

One reason for this, of course, was that youngsters in those days were curious and eager to learn. Today`s teens have everything at their fingertips. Just the click of a mouse gives them all the information they need on any subject.

Perhaps that is why they do not remember much of what they read. When I was young, we had to travel long distances, sometimes walking, at other times changingthreebusesbefore reaching a library.

Some books were expensive, sometimes only available abroad. If someone was lucky, he would ask a relative to buy books for him and bring them back. He would share such books with some of his class fellows.

Nowadays, it is different. At most of the wedding dinners that I am compelled to attend, youngsters and even men in their 50s, stare curiously at me as I read a newspaper or book on my smartphone.

Then they turn to their phones, look at WhatsApp videos and other social media, and feed their minds with mostly fake or pathetic,useless stuff.

No one wants to know about the wars or the politics of the past, and how we managed to survive. Unsurprisingly, there is really a huge generation gap between us, the elderly, and the younger ones.

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

Dawn, October 10, 2024

https://epaper.dawn.com/DetailImage.php?StoryImage=08_10_2024_007_007

Imran Khan, being the psycho he is, has tried every trick under the sun to destabilize the government and defame the country. His latest attempt to do so ended in a massive failure.

His aim was to get the Shanghai  Cooperation Summit cancelled. He also wanted the Chinese Prime minister to postpone his visit to Pakistan. He had successfully got the Chinese president's visit cancelled in 2014, so he thought he could do it again. He failed.

He thought the state would strike back massively and there would be many dead bodies. But the authorities instructed the police and the army not to fire at the demonstrators (which were very few in number). The police were given rubber bullets and tear gas. 

Imran Khan told his henchman Gandapur to disappear before the procession reached the venue of the operation, apparently thinking that the cops would fire upon the demonstrators (many of whom were Afghan nationals). He also told his other parliamentarians not to take part in the procession, so only Gandapur was there, but he too went to KP house before the procession reached D-Chowk. After that he disappeared for many hours and then re-surfaced, just as he did in the last time he led a procession.

I'd like to see Imran Khan's face now. He knows that he has no chance to remove this government, which is doing much better than expected (according to all analysts). Imran Khan is finished, and I'm glad.

 

When I was studying in a missionary school (1951-60), all teachers were hardworking and conscientious. During my ten years in St. Patrick's, I didn't need to take extra tuition after school hours, even though some of my classmates did. I was fluent in English (both writing and speaking), in pre-engineering exams I scored the highest in English. Later, I analyzed why some of my fellow students were not good at speaking and writing English. I found that they came from homes where no one read English books, magazines or newspapers. I was fortunate that my father was a lawyer and he used to buy books, magazines and newspapers (both English and Gujrati). I and my siblings read books by Edgar Wallace, Leslie Charteris, Earle Stanley Gardner and many others. Magazines like the Readers Digest, Time, Newsweek and The Saturday Evening Post were the norm. In fact, we even used to read Indian newspapers (which were freely available until 1965). Later, relatives from India would bring English newspapers for us to read. 

Of course, as the years went by, the teaching of English has deteriorated. Even an internationally read newspaper like DAWN has sentences like "She killed his husband". But then, after the nationalization of schools by Bhutto, this was only to be expected.

Thirteen out of the total eighteen judges of the Supreme Court are openly favoring Imran Khan. This should worry every sane Pakistani. There are many reasons why this is so, but the main reason is that all judges have wives, daughters and mothers-in-law, who like Imran Khan because he's so handsome. Of course, there are many men who also like him for the same reason.

I don't know why practicing lawyers are appointed as judges in Pakistan. Most lawyers are politicized, and they are also unscrupulous. We know that Imran Khan has plenty of money (coming from Hindu and Jewish Americans), so he can buy anyone in the country (except of course some honest Pakistanis). If the judges don't decide cases against him according to law, then he has every chance to bounce back and further damage the country. I hope good sense prevails and those who run the country are able to save it.

The only thing I can't understand is why some people of my community (Memons) support a prevaricator like Imran Khan. Memons being fooled by him is very hard to understand. The only reason they give is that he won the World Cup for the country. Actually, it wasn't him, it was a team effort, and others played so well that the team won. But they can't explain why such a hero was not able to govern well for four years, and why he takes U-turns every now and then.

 

Unacceptable

Saturday, Sep 28, 2024

Last week, two Afghan diplomats in Peshawar remained seated while our national anthem was being played. They said they did so because of the music.

They should be told that the national anthems of most (if not all) countries have music in them. Will they insult those countries as well?

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

https://e.thenews.com.pk/detail?id=345441