There was a time, long ago, when men were valued for their intellect and wisdom. Teachers, particularly, were regarded highly, even though most of them were poor. But as the years went by, and educated people increased, they were thought to be unsuccessful because they didn't have money to live a luxurious life. Not any more. Though nowadays some teachers are highly paid, the general perception is that wealthy people are successful, even though they may have acquired too much wealth but are unhealthy and illiterate.

A cousin of mine (who died of diabetes at the age of 69) suddenly became very rich. He bought a large house, expensive cars and started spending a great deal on restaurants and traveling to foreign countries. There were rumors that he had made his money by putting narcotics in his consignments of food stuff being exported to Sri Lanka. He became a highly respected figure in our community (because of his wealth). The mistake he made was in not caring for his health. Both he and his wife developed diabetes, with the wife losing both her legs before dying a horrible death. Before he died, he survived for two years on money borrowed from relatives and friends.

There's another illiterate young relative who's become a billionaire. He's taken to drinking, and he thinks his wealth will make him a leading figure among his relatives. I could tell him that I've seen billionaires becoming paupers overnight, but it won't have any effect on him. 

 

  

Published on November 3^rd, 1996

 

Those who have access to the Internet got the news of the massive devaluation of the rupee at nine in the morning. By ten o' clock practically the whole country had heard about it. But our worthy Minister of State for Finance, a past master at presenting back-breaking budgets, was totally unaware of it, even at noon on the same day.

Surely this is the kind of thing that can happen only in BB's Pakistan. If she can choose people like him, no wonder the country is in such a sorry state.

At the very least, all these ministers and advisers should be made to repay the salaries and allowances that they have taken from the national exchequer. 

 Published on March 22^nd, 1995

NEWS item: 30 killed in Karachi on the Independence Day. The President goes duck-shooting in Sindh.

News Item: 20 killed in Imambargah. The President flies off to perform Umra.

News Item: 7 killed in a house one day before Eid. The President celebrates Eid with usual fervour and rejoicing.

New Item: 2 Americans killed in Karachi. The President is shokced and announces that he will personally monitor the investigations into the killing.

No comment.

 Published in The Friday Times on March, 2005

At No time in history (except perhaps before the crash of 1929) have stock prices risen so spectacularly as in the past two months on the KSE. According to KSE chief, the surge is not artificial. We know that no huge oil reserves have been discovered, there have been no dramatic changes in the profitability of the PTCL. Six months ago, the Balochistan crisis would have caused the market to plunge by at least a thousand points. We should not forget the surges have always been followed by steep declines. One can only pray that the small investors don't go bankrupt in case of a crash.

 

Published in The News on October 2^nd, 2000

First, it was purported Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report published in Indian newspapers, followed by rumours about thousands of wealthy Pakistanis queuing outside western embassies begging for visas to get out of the country. And for the past six weeks or so a story has been making the rounds about a study conducted by the US Defence Deparment predicting a nuclear exchange between Pakistan and India, and the eventual disintegration of Pakistan by 2010.

This study has been quoted by almost every columnist in the country. I'm sure all those columnists who make use of such alarmist studies and reports in their columns are staunch patriots and have only the good of the country at heart, but one does wish that they would at least look upon the bright side occasionally. Like, for instance, the news that Edhi received an award the other day, or that we have men like Edhi at all, or even that the press in Pakistan is still free despite frequent criticism of the military government.

One columnist even compares the current situation to that prevailing in 1971 in erstwhile East Pakistan. But that was a different matter altogether. Every Pakistani who read foreign newspapers or listened to the BBC at the time knew that Pakistan's position was grim. But even after the fall of Dhaka, the Indians anticipated that what remained of Pakistan would soon break up into four separate units. This did not happen, as we know. Should we attribute our survival to luck or to the incompetence of our foes? Shouldn't we be grateful that despite the rampant corruption of politicians and others, we have managed to endure?

In April, columnist James Clad of the Washington Post prediccted the disintegration of India. He said, "I found evidence of abuses by security forces too numberous to doubt. The steady breakdown of national cohesion is strikingly reflected in the political parties campaign. These include appeals to Hindu fanaticism and caste unity."

I have not seen this article quoted in any Indian newspaper, perhaps because their journalists are mature enough to ignore such alarming reports about their country.

As for those who write of wealthy Pakistanis migrating overseas, the Canadian Embassy has issued 3,000 visas to such people. Mind you, each of these 3,000 Pakistanis had to transfer to Canada the equivalent of US$ 300,000 before being considered for the L-1 visa. I don't know about Canada, but I doubt if there are many Pakistanis who have the equivalent of three hundred thousand dollars "white money" (income on which income tax has been paid).

Clearly, most of those who can pay such an amount (plus visa charges, lawyer's fees, etc.) are not the types who declare their true income. It would be interesting to know if the Canadian government (which is so fond of lecturing to us on the need for restoring "civil" government) did anything to verify if the amounts remitted to Canada by the visa seekers were earned legally. (For all you know, some of the visa applicants may have been involved in the narcotics trade).

If Pakistan requests the Canadian government, I'm sure they will confiscate such illegally earned money and speedily return it to us, assuming that their love for democracy has not unduly clouded their sense of justice.

By Shakir Lakhani

 

 

Published in Dawn on September, 1998

THE Karachi Building Control Authority in a public notice (Dawn Sept 1) has warned the public that "some buildings are being constructed on Sharea Faisal in contravention of approved building plans, etc." It also states that "the unauthorized construction is potentially dangerous as they are being built without an approved plan, have not been properly supervised by a KBCA licensed architect/engineer and are being constructed in violation of the earthquake resistance design."

I have some news for the KBCA. All the buildings which it says are "being constructed" have in fact been completed years ago. I can say this with authority because in one of them (Amber Towers), I have been a resident for almost 12 years now. I can prove it, since I have utility bills and other payment receipts. Moreover, since KBCA didn't publish this notice in 1986, I moved into the premises without knowing that I was breaking the law.

The builders after recovering the money from the innocent flat-buyers, went on to make other projects, some of which are also listed as being unauthorized.

I and the hundreds of humans living or working in these buildings have a right to know why KBCA choose to remain silent when these buildings were being constructed. 

 Published in The News on 17^th December 1997

This is with reference to a recent news headline: "Sindh won't be able to pay salaries next month". I pity the poor Sindh government employees. They will not be able to smoke or drink tea next month, for that is all their meagre salaries allow them to indulge in.

The Indians have got into the habit of blaming the ISI for everything that goes wrong in their country. When the Tehelka scandal broke out, they said ISI was behind it. Now they claim to have foiled an ISI plot to kill the Tehelka chief, Tejpal. Why don't they launch an investigation to find out if ISI was behind the expulsion from the Garden of Eden? The way Indians are obsessed with the ISI, they may even conclude that the serpent who made them eat the forbidden fruit was an ISI agent.

 Published in The News (2001-2002)

According to a recent news item, 15 hindus who had earlier converted to Christianity have been reconverted to Hinduism. When asked why, the police said, "People who want to change their religion must take permission from the district administration. This was not done before the Hindus converted to Christianity." Did anyone say India is a secular country?

 

Published in The News on September 9^th, 2000

This refers to the article ‘Figment of imagination’ by Mr Anees Jillani (The News: September 5, 2000), in which he had referred to me by name and has implied that I am not in touch with reality.

Let’s begin with his article “Owner going abroad” (The News: August 29). He wrote, “One of my friends helps one of the western embassies in processing applications by verifying their accuracy. Upon visiting a residence in Gujar Khan, the applicant left my friend alone with his sister in the small drawing room, who offered herself to the guy in return for clearing her brother’s papers. Ironically, the papers were accurate but the applicant and his family were willing to go to any lengths to leave Pakistan and take no risks.”

If the papers were accurate, why was it necessary for the friend to visit the applicant’s house? But this is not all. The writer’s friend has this experience of a woman offering to sleep with him (for obtaining a visa for her brother, not for herself!) and of the all people, he goes and tells about it to a journalist! A true journalist would have immediately contacted the embassy concerned to find out if the story was true. But not Mr Anees Jillani, who prefers to use words like "one of my friends" and "one of the western embassies." And he expects us to believe him!

The reason why Pakistan has such a bad image abroad is because writers like Mr Jillani have nothing good to say about it. "Repeat a lie often enough and people will believe it," as Goebbels put it. One of the advantages of being an industrialist is that one frequently comes in contact with foreigners. Over the years, my friends and i have persuaded many to visit Pakistan, despite their initial refusals. But all those who came here are simply amazed that Pakistan is much better than they expected. Every year, more violent crimes are committed in New York than in the whole of Pakistan, but it is Pakistan that is considered unsafe.

If an Indian sells his daughter for five rupees (this was reported in the international press a few years back), Pakistan-bashers take no notice, but people like Mr Anees Jillani shout from the roof top that all Pakistanis want to leave the country if the US Embassy receives more visa applications than normal. Recently, a brouhaha was raised because nine Pakistanis of a music group disappeared in the US. But a few days later, when 23 Indians also did the same thing, Indian writers did not cry themselves hoarse that their country was turning into a living hell (which it is, by the way). When I wrote that either the woman in question was probably the type who does this kind of thing out of habit (fortunately I don't have any friends who come across such women) or the incident was a figment of the writer's imagination, all hell broke loose. His reaction was that of a man who's been accused of rape. In his next column "Figment of Imagination" (The News September 5, 2000), he devoted a lot of space to hit out at me, as a result of which I have been constrained to write this piece.

Claiming to be a lawyer (I shouldn't mention here that some people pronounce the word as "liar" but I can't help it), he makes the incredible statement, "Many strangers called and some even waved to stop my car to thank me for the article."

Really? Since when did strangers get into the habit of waving to other strangers? As any lawyer knows (or should know, unless he happens to be Mr Anees Jillani), the only time strangers want to stop someone's car (if they are not beggars) is when they want to sell something (not necessarily their souls to get visas to western countries) or for any other valid reason, but certainly not for the reason given by Mr. Jillani.

By the way, how did these strangers know that the man they were waving to was the one who wrote "Owner going abroad"? Did the writer wear a sign around his neck describing himself as such, or did he have a huge banner on his car saying who he was? For crying out loud, does he think we readers of The News are morons? The few "strangers" I summed up courage to speak to, were unanimous that this was all a figment of an unhealthy imagination, a person who has been deprived of his normal share of healthy male activities!

He writes, "let me assure Mr Lakhani that I am a lawyer and...I would not make a factually incorrect statement." Oh yeah? What about the statement about strangers waving at him to stop his car? He states, "Mr Lakhani is obviously living in a protected environment....." I heartily agree. Living in a protected environment obviously means that I don't have friends who meet women who are ready to jump into bed every time they want their brothers to get a visa to any western country.

To try to prove me wrong, he assumes that I have obviously not read the Hamoodur Rahman Report. He evidently thinks that he is one of the selected few who have access to it (or what is purportedly the HR Report). I would advise him to carefully read my letter in The News of September 2 again. I said "either the woman was the type who does this sort of thing habitually or the incident is a figment of his imagination." The incidents he was quoted involve women of the streets (bazaari aurats, as they are called in Urdu), as no normal woman would ever sleep with an Army officer (unless he happened to be her husband) or be entertained by one in a bunker while shells were being fired all around.

By the way, that incident, if true, should qualify for an entry in Ripley's "Believe it or not". However, I have serious doubts that this incident (like that of the woman in Mr Anees Jillani's column) ever happened. According to the HRC's Repor, "..an enquiry is also necessary into the allegation made against Brig Hayatullah that he entertained some women in his bunker...on the night of the December 11 or 12, 1971), when Indian shells were falling on his troops. The allegation was contained in an anonymous letter....and supported in evidence before us... by Major Munawwar Khan."

Being a lawyer, Mr. Anees Jillani should know that an anonymous allegation does not necessarily convict anyone, and I strongly doubt if only one man's allegation is sufficient to prove anyone guilty (if it were, the whole of Pakistan would have to be converted into a gaol). Were they, too, ordinary women who wanted to emigrate to Singapore? Thank God, Mr Anees Jillani is not my lawyer!